A father walks into a restaurant with his young son … He gives the young boy 3 five cent pieces to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly,the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy’s’ testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
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(Jokes) by
Samardeep
This is the result of ongoing inflation:
A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor…
Prostitute: “I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the man’s organ?”
Surgeon:”Well, she’s 36 years old and quite healthy. How long has she been in business?
Prostitute: “She’s been working since she was 19 years old, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?”
Surgeon: “Well, she’s been working 17 years and hasn’t rejected an organ yet! Has she!!”
You Must Be a Dentist
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl’s place for a
drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his
hands. The girl looked at him and says: ‘You must be a dentist!’
Flabbergasted, the guy responded ‘Yes, that’s amazing how did you figure that out ?’
The girl said: ‘Easy …. you keep washing your hands’
One thing led to another, they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate.
After they were done, the girl said: ‘You must be a GREAT dentist!’
The guy was very very surprised, and said ‘Yes, I sure am a great dentist … How did you figure that out??’
The girl said: ‘Easy … I didn’t feel a thing
Getting a Tooth Pulled
A man & wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain
because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” You’re a brave woman said the
dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the
dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The Coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
The Coroner tells the Inspector… “First body: An Italian, 60, died of heart failure while with his mistress - Hence the enormous smile”.
Second body: Scotsman, 25 he won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky, died of alcohol poisoning - hence the smile.”
The Inspector asked “What of the third body?”
“Ah” says the coroner, ‘This is the most unusual one. Pat Murphy, from Ireland, 30, struck by lightning”.
“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.
Coroner says “He thought he was having his picture taken.”
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(Jokes) by
Samardeep
HEMA is a Dutch department store. The first store opened on November 4, 1926, in Amsterdam. Now there are 150 stores all over the Netherlands.
Take a look at HEMA’s product page. You can’t order anything and it’s in Dutch but just wait a couple of seconds and watch what happens. Don’t click on any of the products pictured, just wait and see what happens. And be Sure you have your sound turned up. This company has a sense of humour and a great computer programmer.
Click Here!!
Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round to see him.
Mick says ‘how you doin?’
Paddy says ‘ do us a favour, nip upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.’
Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy’s gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed . He says ‘your dad’s sent me up here to shag the both of you ‘.
They say ‘get away with ya.. prove it.’
Mick shouts downstairs ‘Paddy, both of em?’
Paddy shouts back ‘of course both of em, what’s the point of fukckin one?’
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(Jokes) by
Samardeep
What’s the geographical definition of sex?
It’s an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!
